TOKD 1 - 1 Duggers

Guest report from TokD's answer to Adam Johnson, Tom 'Garrido' Goulding:

A Team of Kevin Doyles arrived in SW13 for their second game of the League of Gentlemen Championship campaign against (The) Duggers. Aiming to maintain his 100% record having beaten Farmville 4-1, Manager Dave Ivermee started with the same 4-2-3-1 formation (a de facto disguised 4-4-1-1). With Miskimmin banished to Belfast, Tom Crowley played off trequartista Ivermee. T.C. Chau hustled in midfield around team-mate Mark Stewart. There were several débutantes, namely the fraternal Nick Corbett, the cultured Luke Robbins, the spritely Adam Carey, and Michael Trousers in goal.

"Corbett’s ball!” BAM.
Chances for ToKD were few and far between – while Pete Corbett’s forehead eat up every aimless long ball and long throw Duggers could muster. Duggers harried, Duggers hastled. The game’s level of entropy rocketed. The ball ricocheted off knees and shin pads. Conditions were not favourable to ToKD’s expansive style. A long period of uncertainty and stalemate, until Duggers’ Jon Parkin got behind the oranje defence to lob Trousers and astonishly, put Duggers ahead 1-0. Half-time, and a desperate need for Barker’s safety oranges and Goulding’s Isotonic Sports Drinks.

“Corbett’s ball!” BOSH.
Second half and 4-3-3. Danby’s energy and drive pushed ToKD on, and Carey fired over from close range. Trousers was untroubled in the ToKD goal; it was one-way traffic. The intensity of the rain increased with ToKD’s frustration. Robbins had a credible penalty shout turned down. The rain was forceful and horizontal. It was a true wet and windy Tuesday night at the Reebok, and you feel that if ToKD weren’t a brave symphony of English passion, they wouldn’t have survived. As it was, the spectators were treated to a dénouement of international proportions.

“Corbett’s ball!” THUD.
The clock ticked down. Hearts were beating; studs were flying, as the oranje soldiers fought for every ball. 94th minute, into the box – Trowbrige’s shin, Corbett’s knee, Barker! Slotting into the bottom corner, Barker wheeled away. Cue belly slide, pandemonium, and all-round relief. The referee’s whistle went as Duggers kicked off.

As the mud settled on a hard-fought draw, ToKD mused; 1 point gained or 2 points lost? There was undoubtedly an overriding frustration at not having beaten the Duggers outfit, which is natural for a team of this ability. But in those conditions, there was character and resolve.

Still unbeaten – onwards and upwards.

Team: Trousers, Whiting, P. Corbett (Kevin Prince-Boateng Man of the Match), McConvey (c), Barker, N. Corbett, Stewart, Chau, Goulding, Crowley, Ivermee, Danby, Robbins, Carey, Trowbridge, Elphick.